Thursday, June 16, 2011
I was never over him.
Now that he is gone, my heart aches. I now know I am not in love at this time. I am just going through the motions. I can NOT stop thinking about him. I am remembering all the good times we had. From our first date....to the last fight. I can still recall the last words I said to him. It hurts. My heart hurts. My chest hurts. No comfort from the asshole. What did I expect? I know one more person I better have a heart to heart with before it is too late. I look at his picture of him, his son and his ex and think that could have been me in that picture. (with a son) a child of my very own. I made a huge mistake. I broke it off and ran off with the worst mistake of my life and he turned around and married her. If I could have done things different I would have. I should have. Now I have to make things right.
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T I am so sorry you are going thru this right now. I know that his sudden death brings back a lot of "what might have beens", even some what "SHOULD" have beens, but you cannot change what has happened.
ReplyDeleteIf you have someone else you need to say things to--do it only if it will bring peace without pain to others. If you are sure this will not cause damage to another person, then go for it.
We all have regrets, we all wish we would have done things differently, but we walk thru this life in a path that was determined a long time ago. It's what we learn from the challanges presented to us and what we do with what we have been given that continues to determine out path.
Be the change you want to be--don't suffer because you think you have to. You are starting a new chapter in your life--make sure it's the one you want...
Fuck--I have not even been drinking and I'm all philosophical and shit...